Anti Depression Guide

After taking care of the appearance, women who want to marry for money should study this list of behavior - although there may be cultural variations - adapt accordingly:

1. Make use of proper etiquette at all situations public. Dining etiquette, speaking etiquette, communication etiquette, etc. For example, when dining, know what fork / knife / spoon to use for each course, and know which glass and bread plate are yours. When speaking, be sure you are not using slangs, and do speak in a voice that is gentle but audible.
2. Do not assert your opinion unless you are asked (this varies according to culture).
3. Walk at a moderate speed - do not rush. You are a high class lady, do not forget!
4. Walk elegantly - do not walk as if you are wearing flip flops - too many women do that!
5. Do not reproach your husband in public - it is humiliating!
6. Keep your manners when others serve you - meaning do not treat anyone like a slave. In stores, do not act like a spoiled child. Be reasonable with your request, and treat people who serve you with respect. No put downs.
7. When making a complaint about those who have not served you properly, do so in a diplomatic way, not gossiping and backstabbing them.
8. Drive with manners! An expensive car owner should not be driving recklessly, cutting off other people, tailgating other cars, or rev the engine to show off. Doing all that just shows others one thing: your ego. And, no "suped up" cars - most are done without taste!
9. Learn all you can about real estate and investing. You don't want to just spend your husband's money, but help him grow some too.
10. Keep your job, or do something that makes some sort of income for yourself. Afterall, if the marriage is not good for you, you can walk off without regret!

I decided to change the title to Attracting a Millionaire Husband, rather than staying with the Virgin Bride, since preference for virgin brides may be from a certain culture's preference - it may not be widely agreed with. And afterall, I am talking about how to dress in such a way that gives a girl a better exterior. So, in this entry I will talk about dressing.

There is a difference in dressing and grooming styles between the cultured and rich, and people who are not so privileged. Here's a list of hints that will give a person the impression of wealth and culture:

• think classy rather than trendy in style
• colours: neutrals rather than bold. If bold, not too often, and not too many, unless you are in the entertainment industry. I've mentioned in the previous post how millionaire men, at least in China, do not want someone who flaunts herself in PR or entertainment industry. So dressing to be the suportive woman requires her to be subtle and classy
• knee length to long skirts. Forget about minis
• elegant pumps, rather than wedged heeled boots
• fine knits, rather than sweatshirts and t-shirts
• fine metallic jewellery, preferably gold, silver or platinum. Plastics and fakes are not cool
• precious stones, peals and semi-precious stones. Please - nothing too big or obviously big.
• sleek, sophisticated hairdos, nothing big, teased or obviously dyed
• silk stocking is a staple. Not leggings
• fitted, tailored clothing. Think of a tailored suit.
• subtle make up that enhances beauty, rather than dramatic make up. For example, a fine well drawn line from eyeliner rather than a big, bold smokey eye
• clothes made of luxurious, natural material, rather than plastic
• classic perfumes, rather than popular, trendy perfumes. Think of Miss Dior or Shalimar rather than products from J. Lo or Hilary Duff.

In a nutshell, think timelessness, classy and simplicity rather than "in" for the season.

Role models? Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy Onassis.

I read an article today, about how millionaires in China seek their brides. Some have no time to get out there and explore, so they rely on agencies to find their perfect brides. Most of these millionaires are in their 30's to 40's, and here is a common list of characteristics they look for -

• young - girls in their twenties (preferably before 25)
• fair skinned
• pretty
• educated
• virgin

And here's a list of characteristics these millionaires do not want the candidates to possess -

• too opinionated
• work in the entertainment industry, or an industry that requires them to be out there, interacting with too many people (so I guess public relations is out)
• dresses and grooms in a strange way (perhaps too dramatic?)
• strong career women who overpowers their men
• too academic that they don't know how to enjoy life

To me, the interesting part is not these lists. It is the fact that according to the article, about 70% interviewed want to compete to marry a millionaire. These are all women in white collar jobs. According to other sources, and this particular article, most women do want to marry for money - because money is security to them.

I will not talk about whether these men and women are right or wrong - I'm sure we each have our own opinion about that. These are some facts that I want to share.

These millionaires want a wife who stands behind them as their supportive wife. They do not want someone who compete to stand under the lime light. Why they want someone educated I'm not too sure - perhaps so that they can communicate in the same level, same wavelength, so to speak.

How would a woman dress and behave to be comfortable at the millionaire level? There are "class differences", I'm afraid, in dressing and behavior at different levels. If you want to attract a millionaire husband, stay tuned for the next few entries, in which I will share some tips on how to do that through dressing and grooming.

We've all experienced this.

I'm not talking about great things about referrals. We all know that referrals are great, because we can trust our friends. And so whatever friends refer to us with enthusiasm, we tend to try, and sometimes maintain, without thinking it through thoroughly. I call this mindlessness.

Take this, for example, a person I know has gone to a hairdresser for a few years now, because he was referred to her from a very good friend. This person has almost never gotten a good haircut from this hairdresser. But she went back, time and time again. This has been going on for 5 or 6 years now.

Then, one day, she noticed his work deteriorated a little bit. That was her excuse anyway - but really, the work quality was of no difference from what she has had the many times before. But now she is willing to try someone else - assuming for whatever reason that the other person offers a better price, just because she noticed the seemingly good haircut of  another person has from this new hairdresser.

She visited this new hairdresser. The cut was a little better, but the price was also higher. The place was further than the location of the old hairdresser. I wonder what this person will do next - I think she would likely go back to the old hairdresser - given the closer location and price.

Moral of the story? There are two -

1. Referral is powerful - even if the product or service offering is bad, just as long as clients do not know the offering is bad, and are too lazy to make comparisons. This work for products that are not expensive and are convenient to get.

2. Mindlessness is costly - are your decisions costing your more than the benefits you reap from them?  Have you questioned the true benefits and drawbacks behind your purchases? The decisions you make daily?

An interesting incident happened in my family recently.

A member got married and moved out. She and her husband, somehow, were in such a hurry to decorate their homes. They took away some of the family's furniture that were in storage. Lights. Cords. Posters and paintings.

Seeing how odd it was, I asked the member: don't you want to develop your own taste so that your home will be decorated in the style that you want?

Reply I got: why waste these paintings?

Wow. So this is the mentality that the person had. To say it nicely, it is called a mentality for abundance. Take more. To put it more accurately, it is called greed - unwilling to spend even with a large combined salary, and take things that belong to others without thinking who else may want them. "I want. I want. I want."

Her husband...the way he takes food at dinner, it is as if he is competing for food. Our family never fights for food. Where did his habit come from?

From this incident, and other incidents, I've learned the following:

1. How we do anything, is how we do everything.

2. The people we hang around with (most importantly, our spouse / other half), we grow to become like them.

How do you decorate your home? How do you put together your outfits? And, what is your other half life?

Answering these questions will give you a picture of what you are within.

Oh, and by the way, abundance does not necessarily mean tasteful. It just means lots. Or in a bad case, too much.