This post has the potential to make me look like an anti-feminist, a women hater (I am a woman though).
Women in the workplace. I think women has some of the best potential to manage people. Afterall, women are in general more sensitive, caring and nurturing than men – they are wired this way. In modern times, where companies strive to keep their employees, women play an important role in staff retention, using their natural borne ability of nurturing people.
However, out of my work experiences, I experienced mostly the opposite – most women who worked as my superior, did not have enough control over their emotions. So when tasks were not carried out properly by their subordinates, what did they do? They lashed out at them. Talked condescendingly at them. Threw temper tantrums. I think I have yet seen a woman manager who didn't do some or all of the above.
The worse is someone may have carried out the task properly. But out of hatred for whatever reason, the manager would lash out at the subordinate anyway, trying to make him/her quit. Or deliberately giving out instructions in an unclear way so that the tasks are guaranteed to be carried out incorrectly. This I have seen with horror.
Men may be insensitive, but they seem to have better control of their emotions – at least at the workplace.
I guess I should have known how women would behave in a workplace. I went to an all girls' high school in the past. The cattiness and sneakiness don't just go away after the teenage years. Put these characteristics into someone who has even just a bit of power – a manager, and these traits will show up. Somehow women are not brought up to communicate in a straightforward manner – they are always shown by their mothers and their peers, how to get answers the sneaky way. Likely they think that by being straight forward people won't tell them the truth. But sneakiness backfires – people can feel it, and it builds distrust.
Some people may say: oh, but women have a lot on their plates. They have work and family. I say that is not a good reason for dumping negative emotions on people. Women have work and family to take care of – it is a choice. Deal with it. don't expect people to understand your negative emotions, especially if you use it to lash out at others. People who are lashed out by them will almost never understand, and will almost always have resentment.
What is a woman to do?
- Improve on the Emotional Quotient is one way to manage habits of displaying negative emotions.
- Another way is to increase compassion for others – people don't want to appear dumb, stupid, or incompetent. They need to be shown a better way. Perhaps compassion will let managers to step into the shoes of subordinates and see where they come from. Woman are are naturally compassionate – if they are not laced with jealousy that results in being competitive.
- Try not to assume what has happened. Perhaps what happened wasn't what you thought. Presumptions can be dangerous. The way to find truth is not to accuse, which comes from presumptions. But inquire diplomatically. Find evidence if you must. But interactions must be professional and not laced with contempt. This is a good source that teaches people how to question everything.
- Just be straightforward – not blunt, but say what you mean. This lowers the chance of miscommunication.
My best mentor so far isn't a woman. It's my father, who has shown me the way to manage processes and people – without having to lash out at others. My second best mentor is a woman. She had negative emotions, but was always ready to apologize if she was wrong. The rest of the women I've worked with – I've only learned how not to be from them.
