“…you do not need to be defeated by anything…you can have peace of mind, improved health, and a never ceasing flow of energy…your life can be full of joy and satisfaction…of this I have no doubt at all…”
Norman Vincent Peale, The Power of Positive Thinking
Genuine Hope or Cruel Hoax?
I’ve read plenty of motivational, self help, get rich books. So many, in fact, that not long ago I wanted to write my own book about these books.
Only recently it dawned on me why I’ve been so captivated by them. I was reading them before I knew that I was mentally ill and I was very unhappy with life. They provided an escape. I dreamed of a better life; they gave me hope that things would change. They promised me that everything I wanted would be mine if I purposefully set out to realize my goals. A powerful promise for someone who is depressed. Something that is impossible to put into action for someone who is depressed.
I spent many years keeping lists of things to do and goals to achieve. I revised them, laminated them onto cards, tried different applications to sort and present them in different ways. If I could get it all done and reach all my goals then surely my life would better. But it never materialized. There was a lot of hoping and dreaming, but hardly any action. This kind of compulsive goal-setting was always a recipe for disappointment.
If you are like this, constantly dwelling on the future but paralyzed with inaction, then like me you will probably experience disappointment.
An article on PsychCentral, Giving Up on Goals can be Helpful?, quotes recent research that found that letting a life goal go can be physically and mentally beneficial in some circumstances.
That has been my experience over the last few years. As I’ve stopped setting life goals (and sub-goals) I’ve focused more on my core values, and on living in the here and now. I think I’ve coped better with life.