People in general tell all kinds of lies. Some folks only tell the little social white lies such as saying, "I can't meet you for lunch because I have a meeting"....or the tell someone they love their hair color when they don't mean it at all. I hate this kind of stuff and make every effort not to do these things. I do, however, accept that these things happen, a lot. What really concerns me though, are the relationship lies that many people tell.
When we're in a relationship with someone shouldn't we treat them with respect by telling them the truth? If we lose interest in them, should we tell them? If we start having feelings for someone else, should we tell them? In my opinion, if we want to preserve the relationship we are in, we need to be truthful. So often I have heard it said that a person withheld the truth or told a lie in order to protect their partner. Since when do lies protect people?
I think most of us can handle the hurt we feel from being told the truth. We'll suffer for a while, but hopefully, we'll work through the problem with our loved one or another person who cares about us. Most of us have a much more difficult time handling the pain caused by lies. Finding out something hurtful and adding lies on top of it is a double whammy! Not only do we suffer the painful truth, but also the painful realization that our loved one cannot be trusted to share that truth. Since most relationships need trust to succeed, it's my opinion that telling lies destroys relationships.
People are human and we all make mistakes but is telling a lie a mistake, or a deliberate act to protect ourselves?
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Archive for the ‘Anxiety’ Category
Why Do People Lie?
Sunday, January 20th, 2008Do You Know Someone Who Behaves Aggressively? ………by Susan
Friday, January 18th, 2008
Aggressive means "likely to attack", according to the Encarta Dictionary. Do you know anyone who behaves aggressively? I have some relatives who do. In fact, my own mother was a very aggressive person who often verbally and sometimes physically attacked her husband and her children.
In my early adult years I came to realize that my mother was severely depressed. I believe it is her depression which also accounted for her aggression. I recently read an article which appears to support my belief. According to the article we can receive a dopamine release as a result of aggressive behavior, thus encouraging aggression in some individuals. It's hard to accept that attacking her children caused my mom to feel better in some way. You can read the article from Fox News here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,323489,00.html Let me know if you reach similar conclusions to mine.
I know that relationships are important to all of us but we need to get away from those who treat us in an aggressive manner. It seems to me their brain is rewarding them for bad behavior and therefore are most unlikely to stop without the proper medical help. As children, we couldn't protect ourselves from aggressors but as adults we can. Walk away from aggressive people and don't let them have that dopamine reward at your expense. Hopefully the aggressors will seek help eventually and learn to receive the dopamine they need from prescription medication and a doctor's help rather than attacking others.
In my early adult years I came to realize that my mother was severely depressed. I believe it is her depression which also accounted for her aggression. I recently read an article which appears to support my belief. According to the article we can receive a dopamine release as a result of aggressive behavior, thus encouraging aggression in some individuals. It's hard to accept that attacking her children caused my mom to feel better in some way. You can read the article from Fox News here: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,323489,00.html Let me know if you reach similar conclusions to mine.
I know that relationships are important to all of us but we need to get away from those who treat us in an aggressive manner. It seems to me their brain is rewarding them for bad behavior and therefore are most unlikely to stop without the proper medical help. As children, we couldn't protect ourselves from aggressors but as adults we can. Walk away from aggressive people and don't let them have that dopamine reward at your expense. Hopefully the aggressors will seek help eventually and learn to receive the dopamine they need from prescription medication and a doctor's help rather than attacking others.
Not Easy Being You?………….by David
Thursday, January 10th, 2008
Is it difficult for you when you go to the Mall or other places where there are lots of people? You may have been told the following and your logical mind knows: Many people feel these insecurities to one degree or another. Still ............that doesn't turn off the voice (the feeling) which tells you that you're not as good as everyone else. It tells you this to the extreme and you may feel you don't deserve to exist. (no reference to self harm here)
In my current view, "a voice" is key. I'm not saying that we are all going around hearing voices.
I spoke to my doctor last week and at one point she was reassuring me of the fact that everyone has these insecurities. Something happened. She saw something as I was saying, "these thoughts come into my head and I can't control them." Well, she immediately started writing a prescription.
The prescription is for Ambilify, an anti-psychotic medication in the lowest dose of 2 mg. (30 mg. being the highest). When she told me this, I thought, "am I a serial killer or something?" But then I regrouped. I realize I have some thoughts I can't control. These uncontrollable thoughts are more debilitating than the average lack of self esteem or insecurities many people experience around other people. I felt sort of angry to realize I truly have no control over these thoughts, then I saw that I really do need the help of this medication.
I guess most of us need counseling over a period of years an maybe medication for depression, but if you feel your withdrawal from people is to the extreme, you may want to consider this article when talking with your doctor. We all deserve to be happy or content and, we for sure, deserve to feel safe.
In my current view, "a voice" is key. I'm not saying that we are all going around hearing voices.
I spoke to my doctor last week and at one point she was reassuring me of the fact that everyone has these insecurities. Something happened. She saw something as I was saying, "these thoughts come into my head and I can't control them." Well, she immediately started writing a prescription.
The prescription is for Ambilify, an anti-psychotic medication in the lowest dose of 2 mg. (30 mg. being the highest). When she told me this, I thought, "am I a serial killer or something?" But then I regrouped. I realize I have some thoughts I can't control. These uncontrollable thoughts are more debilitating than the average lack of self esteem or insecurities many people experience around other people. I felt sort of angry to realize I truly have no control over these thoughts, then I saw that I really do need the help of this medication.
I guess most of us need counseling over a period of years an maybe medication for depression, but if you feel your withdrawal from people is to the extreme, you may want to consider this article when talking with your doctor. We all deserve to be happy or content and, we for sure, deserve to feel safe.
A Clear Mind………….by Susan
Thursday, September 27th, 2007Today I actually had several hours when I experienced a clear mind and no headache. About an hour after taking my medication the fog lifted and I felt good for a while. It was great!
Only a few days ago I wrote about taking too many pills and how I didn't think I could do much about that. Well, now I'm happy to report that I have successfully reduced my prescription pain medication to 7 per week as suggested by my doctor. The osteoarthritis and the fibromyalgia hurt more but it's worth it not to be triggering migraine headaches.
I increased the Topamax for prevention of migraines for the last time this morning and I believe that's what gave me a clear mind at last. I've been working on reducing or stopping some of my other medications too. They are too expensive and also have too many negative side effects. I plan to take only what is absolutely necessary from now on.
Next month I will begin some alternatives to medication such as acupuncture and massage. I'm looking forward to trying these. I'm glad I'm no longer going to be taking "too many pills". I feel certain it will be a benefit to my physical health and probably won't make much difference in my level of depression or anxiety.
An improvement in my health and an improvement in my bank balance would make me feel great!
Only a few days ago I wrote about taking too many pills and how I didn't think I could do much about that. Well, now I'm happy to report that I have successfully reduced my prescription pain medication to 7 per week as suggested by my doctor. The osteoarthritis and the fibromyalgia hurt more but it's worth it not to be triggering migraine headaches.
I increased the Topamax for prevention of migraines for the last time this morning and I believe that's what gave me a clear mind at last. I've been working on reducing or stopping some of my other medications too. They are too expensive and also have too many negative side effects. I plan to take only what is absolutely necessary from now on.
Next month I will begin some alternatives to medication such as acupuncture and massage. I'm looking forward to trying these. I'm glad I'm no longer going to be taking "too many pills". I feel certain it will be a benefit to my physical health and probably won't make much difference in my level of depression or anxiety.
An improvement in my health and an improvement in my bank balance would make me feel great!
Jumpy…………..by Susan
Monday, September 24th, 2007I've always been a bit on the jumpy side. My three sons always enjoyed that particular trait of mine and helped it develop further as they grew up. Their growing up spanned quite a few years since the oldest one is 40 and the youngest one is 26.
Like many mothers of sons, I experienced the usual scare of one of my sons jumping out at me from behind a door or a piece of furniture. It was all in fun and I have to admit I enjoyed it, even when one of them put a fake spider on my pillow.
I have a problem with anxiety now and am quite jumpy. Sometimes this reminds me of the fun I once had with my sons. Now it isn't a pleasant kind of jumpy and sometimes can be embarrassing. The other day I was in the waiting room of my doctor's office filling out a form. I didn't hear the doctor enter the room and walk over to me. He started to hug me. I jumped out of my skin!
I apologized and said, I guess I was really focused on the form I was filing out. Actually, being very tense and jumpy has been my way of life for some time now. A few nights ago, my husband and I were taking a walk around our neighborhood when a man on a bicycle came riding past us very quickly. I didn't see or hear him until he was right beside us and right at that minute he said loudly, "nice evening isn't it?" I jumped out of my skin.....again"
These are only two examples of how I've embarrassed myself lately by being so darn jumpy. Feel free to comment and share your stories if you are also jumpy in nature.
Like many mothers of sons, I experienced the usual scare of one of my sons jumping out at me from behind a door or a piece of furniture. It was all in fun and I have to admit I enjoyed it, even when one of them put a fake spider on my pillow.
I have a problem with anxiety now and am quite jumpy. Sometimes this reminds me of the fun I once had with my sons. Now it isn't a pleasant kind of jumpy and sometimes can be embarrassing. The other day I was in the waiting room of my doctor's office filling out a form. I didn't hear the doctor enter the room and walk over to me. He started to hug me. I jumped out of my skin!
I apologized and said, I guess I was really focused on the form I was filing out. Actually, being very tense and jumpy has been my way of life for some time now. A few nights ago, my husband and I were taking a walk around our neighborhood when a man on a bicycle came riding past us very quickly. I didn't see or hear him until he was right beside us and right at that minute he said loudly, "nice evening isn't it?" I jumped out of my skin.....again"
These are only two examples of how I've embarrassed myself lately by being so darn jumpy. Feel free to comment and share your stories if you are also jumpy in nature.
Stress or Physical Illness? ………..by Susan
Wednesday, September 19th, 2007I have been very stressed out for the past several months. I thought my mental health was deteriorating for some reason even though I have been feeling happier than I have felt in several years. It didn't make a lot of sense to me but it certainly seemed to be happening.
Wrong........this time I wasn't suffering from anxiety, stress or panic attacks. I very recently found out that my problem is a physical illness called high blood pressure and migraine headaches. I was very surprised to have these problems after having never experienced either one before in my life. I always had low pressure and I thought my headaches were sinus headaches.
In the past two weeks I've started taking a couple of medications to control these problems and low and behold, I no longer feel stressed out. I thought that stress could cause high blood pressure but in this case it seems that high blood pressure was causing me to feel very stressed even to the point of getting red in the face and then feeling exhausted in just a short time.
If you have mental health problems don't rule out the possibility that you might also have some physical health problems as well. Sometimes we and our doctors overlook that when treating us on a regular basis for depression or anxiety. I'm happy to say that my doctor paid attention when I told her my headaches were different lately.
Pay close attention to your body as well as the state of your mind.
Wrong........this time I wasn't suffering from anxiety, stress or panic attacks. I very recently found out that my problem is a physical illness called high blood pressure and migraine headaches. I was very surprised to have these problems after having never experienced either one before in my life. I always had low pressure and I thought my headaches were sinus headaches.
In the past two weeks I've started taking a couple of medications to control these problems and low and behold, I no longer feel stressed out. I thought that stress could cause high blood pressure but in this case it seems that high blood pressure was causing me to feel very stressed even to the point of getting red in the face and then feeling exhausted in just a short time.
If you have mental health problems don't rule out the possibility that you might also have some physical health problems as well. Sometimes we and our doctors overlook that when treating us on a regular basis for depression or anxiety. I'm happy to say that my doctor paid attention when I told her my headaches were different lately.
Pay close attention to your body as well as the state of your mind.