Archive for the ‘depression’ Category
Turkey Day at the Kings
Saturday, November 22nd, 2008by Susan
While preparing to give thanks this Thanksgiving, I have been gathering the food for what we also call Turkey Day at our house. I'm so relieved to say we finally have a new refrigerator and I've spent the last two days going from one grocery store to the next shopping for the holiday bargains and filling up the freezer. I know I got the best prices around for the feast my only daughter and I will prepare on Thursday.
My husband and I are senior citizens and these holiday gatherings cause us a lot stress even though I absolutely love them! Now that's definitely a conflict of emotions! It must be associated with my underlying depression. Last night we realized we are going to have a really crowded table and we're trying to come up with a good solution. No kiddie table for us this year since the only child will be my 18 month old granddaughter. The daughter of my middle son and his wife. Maybe we'll have an old folks table for me and the hubby. Then we can sit back and watch as our children interact with each other. That's always been one of my favorite things to do.
I am especially thankful this year because my oldest son will be home for this holiday. I'm so happy that he is able to come home before going to Iraq in early December. I'm also happy to have my youngest son and his new bride for Thanksgiving this year.
I've seen a lot of funny and touching holiday movies where family members might fight, hug, play games, tease each other and be bored with each other. My family would make a wonderful movie and I'm sure everyone would love it. I think I'll call it "Turkey Day at the Kings ".
When Your Ducks Aren’t All In a Row
Friday, November 14th, 2008by Susan
When your ducks aren't all in a row you often feel a lot of stress, especially if you suffer from depression and/or anxiety. Most of us cherish having some sense of control in our lives and when things happen to upset our apple cart we often feel as if we no longer have any control.
This week I felt the stress of things going wrong and I felt helpless to keep them from happening. It all started when we realized we needed a new refrigerator. The compressor on the old one was making a terrible sound each time it stopped running. After several days of shopping around, we chose a new fridge which had to be ordered. We waited the specified five days and then moved our food to ice chests while the new fridge was being delivered. Well, the new fridge hums so loudly that it can easily be mistaken for the washing machine in the adjoining laundry room. It is making me even nuttier than usual!
Needless to say, we have complained to the store and they will be sending out another new refrigerator.......in another five days. We sure didn't need this unexpected expense during this sluggish economy. I guess we could consider this our Christmas present even if it isn't what we wanted. I will be thankful if we manage to get our ducks in a row by having a quiet and reliable refrigerator installed. I need to fill it with Thanksgiving food items.....before Thanksgiving. My family is coming and they will want some turkey and trimmings!
You Don’t Know What You’ve Got
Saturday, October 25th, 2008by Susan
Taking people for granted is one of the easiest things to do and one of the hardest things to undo. The same can be said for taking things for granted, whether it be material things or even our own physical or mental health. The bottom line is that we don't know what we've got until we lose it.
We don't fully appreciate the good things in our lives until we no longer have them. Loss of a loved one or a broken relationship can cause us a great deal of pain. Dealing with severe depression or other mental health problems can totally upset our world as we once knew it. Suffering through difficult physical problems can also be extremely stressful. When faced with all of these dilemmas we often wonder what happened to the good times. We often miss them terribly.
We can learn to cherish our good relationships and other things, knowing we will dearly miss them when they are gone. Reach out to those you love now rather than later. You never know when it might be too late. We'll also miss our 'feelin good' days, so let's be sure to take full advantage of all the ones we get.
I loved the music of the 60's and there was a song of the 60's that came to mind the other day after I visited with a dear friend. The song is called "You Don't Know What You've Got (Until You Lose It)" I've posted the lyrics below in case some of you might remember it too. I really liked this song when it was popular and I guess I still do. Thanks for reading this blog.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOT (UNTIL YOU LOSE IT)
(George Burton / Paul Hampton)
Ral Donner - 1961
Big Jim Sullivan - 1961
You don't know what you've got until you lose it
You gave me you-your love but I abused it
And now I'm sorry for the things I didn't say
`cause I know now I acted in a foolish way
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah) oh-oh-yeah
You don't know what you've got until you lose it
You gave me you-your love but I misused it
I never knew how lonely loneliness could be
And now I need you, dear, as you once needed me
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah) oh-oh-yeah
So now if you'd come to this lonely heart you own
I'd give you all my lovin' like you've never known
(bung, bung, bung, bung)
You don't know what you've got until you lose it
You gave me you-your love but I misused it
And now I'm sorry for the things I didn't say
`cause I know now I acted in a foolish way
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah) oh-oh-yeah
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah) oh-oh-yeah
FADE
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah)
Baby Boomers and Depression
Sunday, October 12th, 2008by Susan
I was interviewed by phone not long ago by Darlene Dunn of Newsnet5.com out of Ohio for an article she wrote about Baby Boomers and their life changes that can trigger depression. Before I give you the link to that interview I'd like to let you know that I am a Baby Boomer who has suffered with depression since my early 30's. I sought professional help, tried a number of anti-depressants and each one worked for me for a period of time. Psychotherapy was the most effective for me.
My brother, David, has received a great deal of help from both anti-depressants and Psychotherapy. In my opinion, senior citizens and people in all age groups need to seek professional help when they suffer from depression for more than a few weeks. The professional will help you decide what will be of most help for you.
I do believe that life changes during Baby Boomer years or anytime in our lives can trigger depression. Problems in your relationships can trigger depression as easily as major changes such as loss of a loved one or loss of a job.
On a personal note, my husband and I have been married for 42 years and we've shared a lot of good times as well as some problems. My children are all gone from home now and all are loving and successful adults. It was difficult for me to be a stay at home mom and even though I wasn't always the best mom, I did a good job. The loss of each of my parents was devastating to me and caused me a great deal of depression. I think a lot of Baby Boomers find themselves dealing with this same kind of loss.
My husband retired in 2005, at which time we needed to cut our expenses and I stopped seeing my psychologist on a regular basis and took up blogging. Blogging is definitely cheaper although it isn't nearly as effective as seeing a professional on a regular basis. I prefaced the interview with this article because I am a firm believer in seeking professional help if you suffer from depression and I don't think that point is made in the article. You can read the interview by Darlene Dunn at Newsnet5.com. It is titled, Boomer's Life Changes Can Start Depression.
Success Goes a Long Way
Thursday, October 9th, 2008by Susan
I recently had some success in achieving a goal with my Avon sales and realize now that a little success goes a long way in relieving depression. Success also helps promote a good sense self esteem which is something most of us can use on a regular basis.
Although tackling new projects and taking new risks can cause us a good deal of stress, it can also eventually give us a lot of rewards. Success can greatly improve our general mental health and make us more pleasant to be around. Don't get me wrong........I'm usually a very pleasant person, although I suffer from depression.
Yesterday I attended my Avon District Sales Meeting and felt reassured about my future with Avon. I received recognition for my accomplishments and all of us received the assurance that Avon will not be laying off representatives. In this troubled economy that was a good thing to hear.
I'm very pleased that I was able to make myself get out there and start selling Avon two years ago. It was a risk that paid off in many ways......especially because it got me out of the house and interacting with people again. If we can make ourselves try new things, the success we achieve will go a long way in helping us cope with depression.
Protect Loved Ones From Resentment
Friday, September 26th, 2008by David
Sometimes we have to protect our loved ones from their own resentment. Imagine you are having a good day and all of a sudden something very unnatural happens. A loved one says something or does something that hurts you or makes you angry. You react and now there are two of you acting in an unnatural way. What if you were able to not react?
Some might call not reacting, turning the other cheek. A lot of people have trouble doing this. Well, this isn't a religion lesson where you feel you must become like a monk to get along in the world by not reacting to your loved ones resentment and/or cruelty. However, if you can stop reacting, you might help them to see what is going on. It takes two to fight. If you remain neutral it doesn't have to mean you are turning the other cheek. It means you're not going to be drawn into a disease I call resentment.
Your loved ones don't know how to cope with neutrality. You may not know either. but looking at it the right way may change your mind about it. The world is full of people who think their way is the right way and at the snap of a finger can become resentful, angry or even violent towards someone.
If someone takes their resentment out on you, neutralize the situation or take a break. After all, you may be wrong. If we harbor resentment we can't see that we are sometimes wrong because we can't see anything clearly. Take care of your little corner of the world, your friends, your loved ones............and you.
Can We Ever Take It Back?
Sunday, September 21st, 2008by Susan
Most of us who suffer from depression have had problems in our relationships with family members and other loved ones. Sometimes our loved ones are also depressed. I think depression causes us to be more susceptible to anger and hurt. We feel hurt by what we believe are slights......these slights may simply be others stating their opinions or living their lives. Sometimes we lash out in anger. Can we ever take it back?
We can of course, apologize and say we didn't mean it. We can try to help the other person mend their hurt feelings. Or, if an apology isn't in order, we can give it time. Regardless of what we do or don't do, the loved one will probably never forget what we said or did, even after they forgive us. They may even begin to lash out at us.
In my opinion we can take back the words but we can't take back the pain those words caused. We can only hope our loved ones forgive us and continue to have a relationship with us. We've seen them forgive others who caused them prolonged periods of pain, so we have hope.
Lashing out at someone because they caused you pain seems like an effort to cause them pain, even though we are really only expressing ourselves. Too much lashing out could do irreparable damage to the relationship. We can't take back the pain. We can use caution with our words in the future even when we are depressed. Perhaps, realizing that our loved one is also depressed will help us to stop lashing out.
Taking someone else's depression into account when we are hurting is hard to do, but knowing we can't take back the pain we inflict, might help us think carefully before lashing out. There have been occasions when I wish I had thought carefully of the other persons' feelings before I expressed my own. However, like others who are depressed, I have a tendency not to express my feelings until I am hurting and wishing someone could take away the pain.
Great news – Shaun Tait recovers from depression!
Monday, September 15th, 2008You may recall the post entitled, “The Great Australian Sportsman Succumbs To Depression” [February 1st 2008]. This dealt with how the immense pressures associated with being a top athlete can cause sufficient stress to precipitate an episode of depression.
The great news is that Shaun Tait, the Australian cricketer noted for his immense speed when bowling, has now recovered from the affliction and is preparing to do battle with the ball again. Hopefully, the setback that he had, like many other great sportspeople, will make him an even better person and athlete. I certainly feel confident that this will be the case.
When I first heard the news about Shaun’s battle with depression I desperately wanted to contact him to offer any assistance that I may be able to provide from my own experiences and research. However, I felt that my offer would be declined as the Australian Cricket Board had already implemented a course of action to assist Shaun by getting him to speak with other cricket greats who had triumphed over depression in the past.
On top of this Shaun’s father Phil had requested that everybody respect Shaun’s privacy on this occasion, and I did not wish to aggravate his condition in any way, even though my intentions were well meaning.
Now that Shaun has recovered, I may try to contact him to determine if he has any words of wisdom that he can pass on to others who are suffering from this miserable condition.
It has now been about eight months since the news of his hasty departure from all levels of cricket was announced. This makes me reflect on how, even without any treatment, time can effect a recovery. It reminds me of the saying that, if you have a cold it will take about fourteen days for you to recover, but if you take medication the cold will only last for two weeks. 
Often, medication will only treat the symptons of a problem and make life a little more bearable whilst the mind and the body’s immune system tend to repairing the real cause of the damage. This is similar to when a doctor will set a fracture in a splint and prescribe painkillers whilst the body mends the bone.
Our minds and body are truly amazing entities. The more research I do, the more amazed I become about the inter-relationship between our minds and bodies.
Once again I am reminded of a story about a Scottish man who suffered from insomnia. No prescribed medication had any beneficial effect on his condition and so he used to pour two fingers of whiskey into a tumbler each hour and consume it. When questioned about this “self medication” he replied that the whiskey did not relieve his insomnia, it just made staying awake a lot more pleasant.Â
Lost in Depression
Sunday, September 14th, 2008by David
It's hard when you don't feel like doing anything to fill up a day's hours with things to do. It's hard trying to sleep when you can't, or trying to go walking when your self esteem is so low that you feel very self conscious around people. Sometimes you feel so self conscious that any traffic makes walking a real burden. It makes you want to stay home where you feel safe.
Depression can take your breath away as well as your friends and your self. It can isolate you from loved ones when they don't understand at times that you don't feel like being around anyone, including them. That is the most heart breaking thing when you have children and you can't be your best for them....... missing out on things or events that are so special to them.
You try to show your children that you love them. You hope they understand or will someday understand that depression is a disability just as sure as if you were in a wheel chair for life. Depression is a prison at times, keeping you from being out in the world enjoying things other people are enjoying. At times I cry. Sometimes I hide my head under the covers. There's no escape and sometimes no relief. Deep inside I know life is beautiful. I have two daughters.
I Wish I Looked Different
Friday, September 12th, 2008
by Susan
Sometimes I really wish I looked different. We go through life with this one body and even though we try to keep it healthy and looking it's best we may be dissatisfied with how we look. I am. Women like myself, who are senior citizens, probably understand very well how this dissatisfaction with our appearance can worsen with age.
I keep hoping I will get to the point where I'm comfortable wearing red and purple, and don't care too much anymore about how I look, but I'm not there yet. My self esteem has always been connected to how I feel about my appearance. Lately, I haven't had good self esteem.
My hair is thinning and my waistline is thickening. I know both of these things often happen to senior citizens in spite of exercise and eating right. I know aging is a normal process but by golly......we don't have to like it. I want to age gracefully and happily and I know acceptance is the key to achieving that wish. I'm just not ready. I wish I looked different.........younger, thinner and happier.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. According to one article I found, many people are actually Obsessing On Body Image. I'm not obsessing yet, but just having a rant tonight. Thanks for reading.
Sometimes I really wish I looked different. We go through life with this one body and even though we try to keep it healthy and looking it's best we may be dissatisfied with how we look. I am. Women like myself, who are senior citizens, probably understand very well how this dissatisfaction with our appearance can worsen with age.
I keep hoping I will get to the point where I'm comfortable wearing red and purple, and don't care too much anymore about how I look, but I'm not there yet. My self esteem has always been connected to how I feel about my appearance. Lately, I haven't had good self esteem.
My hair is thinning and my waistline is thickening. I know both of these things often happen to senior citizens in spite of exercise and eating right. I know aging is a normal process but by golly......we don't have to like it. I want to age gracefully and happily and I know acceptance is the key to achieving that wish. I'm just not ready. I wish I looked different.........younger, thinner and happier.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. According to one article I found, many people are actually Obsessing On Body Image. I'm not obsessing yet, but just having a rant tonight. Thanks for reading.