Archive for the ‘His and Hers’ Category
Friday, November 14th, 2008
by Susan
When your ducks aren't all in a row you often feel a lot of stress, especially if you suffer from depression and/or anxiety. Most of us cherish having some sense of control in our lives and when things happen to upset our apple cart we often feel as if we no longer have any control.
This week I felt the stress of things going wrong and I felt helpless to keep them from happening. It all started when we realized we needed a new refrigerator. The compressor on the old one was making a terrible sound each time it stopped running. After several days of shopping around, we chose a new fridge which had to be ordered. We waited the specified five days and then moved our food to ice chests while the new fridge was being delivered. Well, the new fridge hums so loudly that it can easily be mistaken for the washing machine in the adjoining laundry room. It is making me even nuttier than usual!
Needless to say, we have complained to the store and they will be sending out another new refrigerator.......in another five days. We sure didn't need this unexpected expense during this sluggish economy. I guess we could consider this our Christmas present even if it isn't what we wanted. I will be thankful if we manage to get our ducks in a row by having a quiet and reliable refrigerator installed. I need to fill it with Thanksgiving food items.....before Thanksgiving. My family is coming and they will want some turkey and trimmings!
Posted in Anxiety, depression, Economy, His and Hers, ozzieblackcat, stress | Comments Off
Monday, November 10th, 2008
by Susan
Today bloggers all over the Internet are uniting to write about refugees in many different situations. I have chosen to make my article for Bloggers Unite about all of the evacuations in my state of Missouri during the historic flooding in the Spring of 2008.
Many peoples' homes were destroyed or heavily damaged as their occupants had to evacuate to higher ground. Lives were disrupted in ways many Missourians never dreamed they could be. On March 19th, 2008,
President Bush declared
a major disaster in Missouri and ordered Federal aid to supplement state and local recovery efforts in areas struck by severe storms and flooding.
Missourians were displaced to shelters, relatives homes, hotels and motels until they could return to their homes and begin the painful process of recovery and cleanup. Some Missourians weren't that fortunate as there were over a dozen deaths in the Midwest in the early Spring floods.
You can view an
MSNslide show which shows you the extent of the damage and disruption caused by the flooding. Evacuations, displaced persons and property damage were rampant and all of this was accompanied by waves of depression and fear as the rain kept falling. Here in Missouri we were happy when the heat of Summer arrived and we experienced the end of a long season of devastating floods.
Posted in Bloggers Unite, Disasters, Floods, His and Hers, Missouri, MSN slide show, ozzieblackcat, Refugees | Comments Off
Thursday, November 6th, 2008
by Susan
Congratulations to President Elect Obama and his family on winning the Presidential Election Tuesday. I'm so glad the election is over! It was the longest, most grueling campaign in our history and I listened to way too much of it. I wanted to be informed but I think I went overboard reading, watching and listening and became somewhat obsessed with politics.
Obama said one thing in his acceptance speech that I thought was very unifying. He said he knew he didn't have everyone's support but he would be their president too. I'm hoping he will be an excellent president for all of us. I think it will be a long, long time before we see much progress with our economy or any of the other issues. I also think we will continue to hear politics on the media for quite a time and I'm tired of it. However, I will be looking forward to hearing some other world and U.S. news.
If your candidate won, I know you're very happy. If your candidate lost, maybe you will give our new president a chance to win your support. Opening up our hearts and minds to change can be a big risk and cause us anxiety, but it can also be rewarding if the change goes in a good direction for all of us.
Posted in Anxiety, Election, His and Hers, ozzieblackcat, President | Comments Off
Saturday, October 25th, 2008
by Susan
Taking people for granted is one of the easiest things to do and one of the hardest things to undo. The same can be said for taking things for granted, whether it be material things or even our own physical or mental health. The bottom line is that we don't know what we've got until we lose it.
We don't fully appreciate the good things in our lives until we no longer have them. Loss of a loved one or a broken relationship can cause us a great deal of pain. Dealing with severe depression or other mental health problems can totally upset our world as we once knew it. Suffering through difficult physical problems can also be extremely stressful. When faced with all of these dilemmas we often wonder what happened to the good times. We often miss them terribly.
We can learn to cherish our good relationships and other things, knowing we will dearly miss them when they are gone. Reach out to those you love now rather than later. You never know when it might be too late. We'll also miss our 'feelin good' days, so let's be sure to take full advantage of all the ones we get.
I loved the music of the 60's and there was a song of the 60's that came to mind the other day after I visited with a dear friend. The song is called "You Don't Know What You've Got (Until You Lose It)" I've posted the lyrics below in case some of you might remember it too. I really liked this song when it was popular and I guess I still do. Thanks for reading this blog.
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'VE GOT (UNTIL YOU LOSE IT)
(George Burton / Paul Hampton)
Ral Donner - 1961
Big Jim Sullivan - 1961
You don't know what you've got until you lose it
You gave me you-your love but I abused it
And now I'm sorry for the things I didn't say
`cause I know now I acted in a foolish way
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah) oh-oh-yeah
You don't know what you've got until you lose it
You gave me you-your love but I misused it
I never knew how lonely loneliness could be
And now I need you, dear, as you once needed me
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah) oh-oh-yeah
So now if you'd come to this lonely heart you own
I'd give you all my lovin' like you've never known
(bung, bung, bung, bung)
You don't know what you've got until you lose it
You gave me you-your love but I misused it
And now I'm sorry for the things I didn't say
`cause I know now I acted in a foolish way
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah) oh-oh-yeah
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah) oh-oh-yeah
FADE
(oh yeah) uh-huh-huh (oh yeah)
Posted in Anxiety, depression, Family, His and Hers, Mental Health, music, ozzieblackcat, Relationships, stress | Comments Off
Sunday, October 19th, 2008
by Susan
Is apprehension the same thing as anxiety? According to one definition of apprehension in the Encarta Dictionary, apprehension is dread...... a feeling of anxiety or fear that something bad or unpleasant will happen. That sounds pretty much like what most of us feel when we suffer from anxiety. Frequently we feel this sense of dread when faced with decisions both small and large.
There is another definition in the Encarta Dictionary which says apprehension can also mean the power or ability to grasp the importance, significance, or meaning of something. I'm paying special attention to the words "ability to grasp". I believe our ability to grasp a things importance, whether it be an event, an object, a person, or an idea, is vital to our happiness and peace of mind. Sometimes we must research or study certain subjects at length in order to inform ourselves, so that we have the "ability to grasp".
So often when we are not informed or have not yet grasped a situation, we are unsure of ourselves and others. We find it difficult to make decisions and we suffer from anxiety(apprehension) for fear we will make the wrong decision. At times we may spend all our time trying to convince family members and others that we know what is correct. Are we really trying to convince ourselves when we engage in this behavior?
There is a huge weight lifted from our shoulders when we finally do grasp and understand what we are dealing with....and when we finally do make our decision. I believe apprehension, the ability to grasp a situation, is the best way to relieve our apprehension(anxiety) when it comes to making decisions, whether that decision involves where to make a major purchase, who to vote for, what church to attend, or decisions about daily events in our lives. The "ability to grasp" is something most of us can achieve with a little time and effort, thus engaging in a bit of self help. The time and effort spent might just go a long way in relieving our anxiety.
Posted in Anxiety, apprehension, Encarta Dictionary, Family, His and Hers, Mental Health, ozzieblackcat, Self Help | Comments Off
Friday, September 26th, 2008
by David
Sometimes we have to protect our loved ones from their own resentment. Imagine you are having a good day and all of a sudden something very unnatural happens. A loved one says something or does something that hurts you or makes you angry. You react and now there are two of you acting in an unnatural way. What if you were able to not react?
Some might call not reacting, turning the other cheek. A lot of people have trouble doing this. Well, this isn't a religion lesson where you feel you must become like a monk to get along in the world by not reacting to your loved ones resentment and/or cruelty. However, if you can stop reacting, you might help them to see what is going on. It takes two to fight. If you remain neutral it doesn't have to mean you are turning the other cheek. It means you're not going to be drawn into a disease I call resentment.
Your loved ones don't know how to cope with neutrality. You may not know either. but looking at it the right way may change your mind about it. The world is full of people who think their way is the right way and at the snap of a finger can become resentful, angry or even violent towards someone.
If someone takes their resentment out on you, neutralize the situation or take a break. After all, you may be wrong. If we harbor resentment we can't see that we are sometimes wrong because we can't see anything clearly. Take care of your little corner of the world, your friends, your loved ones............and you.
Posted in Anger, depression, Family, His and Hers, Mental Health, ozzieblackcat, Relationships | Comments Off
Sunday, September 21st, 2008
by Susan
Most of us who suffer from depression have had problems in our relationships with family members and other loved ones. Sometimes our loved ones are also depressed. I think depression causes us to be more susceptible to anger and hurt. We feel hurt by what we believe are slights......these slights may simply be others stating their opinions or living their lives. Sometimes we lash out in anger. Can we ever take it back?
We can of course, apologize and say we didn't mean it. We can try to help the other person mend their hurt feelings. Or, if an apology isn't in order, we can give it time. Regardless of what we do or don't do, the loved one will probably never forget what we said or did, even after they forgive us. They may even begin to lash out at us.
In my opinion we can take back the words but we can't take back the pain those words caused. We can only hope our loved ones forgive us and continue to have a relationship with us. We've seen them forgive others who caused them prolonged periods of pain, so we have hope.
Lashing out at someone because they caused you pain seems like an effort to cause them pain, even though we are really only expressing ourselves. Too much lashing out could do irreparable damage to the relationship. We can't take back the pain. We can use caution with our words in the future even when we are depressed. Perhaps, realizing that our loved one is also depressed will help us to stop lashing out.
Taking someone else's depression into account when we are hurting is hard to do, but knowing we can't take back the pain we inflict, might help us think carefully before lashing out. There have been occasions when I wish I had thought carefully of the other persons' feelings before I expressed my own. However, like others who are depressed, I have a tendency not to express my feelings until I am hurting and wishing someone could take away the pain.
Posted in Anger, depression, Family, His and Hers, ozzieblackcat, Relationships | Comments Off
Friday, September 12th, 2008
by Susan
Sometimes I really wish I looked different. We go through life with this one body and even though we try to keep it healthy and looking it's best we may be dissatisfied with how we look. I am. Women like myself, who are senior citizens, probably understand very well how this dissatisfaction with our appearance can worsen with age.
I keep hoping I will get to the point where I'm comfortable wearing red and purple, and don't care too much anymore about how I look, but I'm not there yet. My self esteem has always been connected to how I feel about my appearance. Lately, I haven't had good self esteem.
My hair is thinning and my waistline is thickening. I know both of these things often happen to senior citizens in spite of exercise and eating right. I know aging is a normal process but by golly......we don't have to like it. I want to age gracefully and happily and I know acceptance is the key to achieving that wish. I'm just not ready. I wish I looked different.........younger, thinner and happier.
I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. According to one article I found, many people are actually
Obsessing On Body Image. I'm not obsessing yet, but just having a rant tonight. Thanks for reading.
Posted in depression, Health, His and Hers, life, Mental Health, ozzieblackcat, self esteem, Self Help, senior citizens, Women | Comments Off
Friday, September 5th, 2008
by Susan
If my dad were alive he would vote for John McCain. If my grandchildren were old enough to vote they would vote for Barack Obama. I'm an undecided voter and as a senior citizen it puzzles me to be undecided at this time in my life. I usually make up my mind early. Somehow, this seems like a very important election to me......more so than all the other presidential elections I've voted in over the years.
Maybe my indecision has to do with increased depression.......I'm not sure. I do know that I feel a certain amount of anxiety associated with this election. This has been one of the most interesting races to date and I've probably spent too much time sitting around watching television and the Internet in an effort to learn as much as possible about the candidates and the issues.
I feel a bit of anger when some of my loved ones tell me who they are voting for and they haven't listened to the speeches of all the candidates. They obviously base their decision on something else.....but what? Have they done some other kind of homework so they are informed? Maybe I'm taking my one vote too seriously.
I found an interesting
article about undecided voters at WebMD and learned that I may not be undecided at all. I just don't know it yet.
Posted in Anxiety, depression, His and Hers, ozzieblackcat, senior citizens, Women | Comments Off
Thursday, August 28th, 2008
by Susan
My husband and I spent four days at the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital with his mother who is 94 years of age. She is out of the hospital now and will be returning to the hospital soon for a procedure on her back. The many hours we spent in the ICU and adjoining waiting room were very similar to times when I was there for my own mother and for one of my sisters.
Needless to say, I believe the events of the past week have triggered some depressive feelings for me. My mother passed away in 1999. She was in the hospital for 10 days as a result of a fall due to the unsteadiness she suffered with Alzheimer's Disease. All of my sisters, as well as my brother visited and spent time together. We all rallied together again a few years later when one of my sisters spent 10 days in the ICU on life support.
I believe significant events such as loss of a loved one and life threatening illness of a loved one can trigger depression. I also believe similar events can re-trigger those same feelings of depression, fear and anxiety.
There are so many events in our lives that are possible triggers of depression. Job loss, financial problems, arguments with loved ones, death, illness and many many more. Some of us may be depressed due to genetics and chemical imbalance but these triggering events increase our levels of depression, sometimes to the point of immobilizing us for a short period of time. If you find yourself unable to function somewhat normally for you, get professional help as well as help from family members.
Here is an interesting site that lists many of the triggers of depression
"Causes of Depression: Possible Triggers of Depression?"
Posted in Anxiety, Bipolar, depression, Family, His and Hers, ozzieblackcat, Relationships, Triggers | Comments Off