When bad things happen to one of my loved ones, I tend to be a real worry wart, accompanied by anxiety and depression. This may be a part of my depression but it may also be something most of us do naturally, regardless of whether we have depression or not. I don't now how many times we hear people ask, "why" when there is a tragedy in their lives.
I feel very upset about the recent shootings at the University in Illinois. I feel a lot of anger about the loss of our soldiers in Iraq. When tragedy strikes our own friends and families, these feelings of anger, loss and depression increase tremendously.
My parents are both deceased and both suffered from Alzheimer's disease. It was terrible losing the person my father was.....even before he passed away. Later when my mother was diagnosed with the same fate, it was almost unbelievable and unbearable. My siblings and I were in shock and frequently asked "why?" or "how could this happen?"
Our loved ones are what makes our lives so worth living. Losing one of them is extremely difficult and the recovery takes a long time. My thoughts and prayers are with those who have recently had bad things happen to their loved ones. We may never fully understand the why, but maybe we don't need to. We do understand the pain and the time it will take to overcome it.
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Archive for the ‘life’ Category
When Bad Things Happen to Our Loved Ones……..by Susan
Friday, February 15th, 2008Don’t Put Naked Child’s Picture Online………….by Susan
Sunday, February 10th, 2008
Please don't put your child's naked pictures online.........anywhere! I recently discovered online, a naked picture of a distant relative's child. This is causing me a lot of distress. I've told the family my concerns, but the picture remains on MySpace where it is common knowledge what school these parents went to school, which could make it easier for a predator to locate this child.
I've discussed my concerns with members of Psych Central, a large Mental Health website. Some members say parents do this because they love their child and are proud of their child and want to show off their child. Others say parents are trying to teach their child to have a healthy view of sex and their bodies. In my opinion, and that of many other members of Psych Central, when it comes to putting a child's naked picture on the Internet, their number one concern needs to be to protect their child from possible predators. If parents don't protect their children, who will?
Another concern which parents need to consider is how will your child feel someday, knowing that you put these pictures on the Internet for anyone and everyone to see? Many of us suffered embarrassment as children when our parents showed intimate pictures of us to family members or close friends. I urge you to consider your child's feelings and more importantly their safety, and keep your naked photos of them in an album at home.
Predators will find online pictures and use them for their own purposes even if they never attempt to have contact with the child. As a senior citizen, mother of four and grandmother of two, I believe I have the knowledge, experience and wisdom that is required to give advice to young parents. Please do not put your child's naked pictures on the Internet!
I've discussed my concerns with members of Psych Central, a large Mental Health website. Some members say parents do this because they love their child and are proud of their child and want to show off their child. Others say parents are trying to teach their child to have a healthy view of sex and their bodies. In my opinion, and that of many other members of Psych Central, when it comes to putting a child's naked picture on the Internet, their number one concern needs to be to protect their child from possible predators. If parents don't protect their children, who will?
Another concern which parents need to consider is how will your child feel someday, knowing that you put these pictures on the Internet for anyone and everyone to see? Many of us suffered embarrassment as children when our parents showed intimate pictures of us to family members or close friends. I urge you to consider your child's feelings and more importantly their safety, and keep your naked photos of them in an album at home.
Predators will find online pictures and use them for their own purposes even if they never attempt to have contact with the child. As a senior citizen, mother of four and grandmother of two, I believe I have the knowledge, experience and wisdom that is required to give advice to young parents. Please do not put your child's naked pictures on the Internet!
A New Look
Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
Our blog has a new look and I hope you will let us know what you think. There will be more changes coming soon so please make comments as we continue to update. We plan to add occasional photos to the blog which I think will be a big improvement. We've also added a Welcome message in the sidebar which I hope you will take the time to read. Below are photos of David and Susan, the His & Hers blog authors. Thank you for visiting and come back often to see what we are writing about depression and other mental health issues!
Hope For All……….by Susan
Saturday, February 2nd, 2008
I try my hand at writing poetry when I'm especially depressed. I wrote this poem a few years ago when I was going through a bad spell of depression and sadness. The past few days have been a bit troublesome for me and I thought of this poem again and decided to share it with you.
We share our stories sad and true
sometimes we don't know what to do.
We cry, we moan, we wail and whine
and even lose all track of time.
Our friends stick by us while we heal
they understand our pain is real.
They know we must express that pain
in order to feel whole again.
Depression such a lonely place
where all of us have shown our face.
We hold our heads up as we try
to grab some hope as it goes by.
And if at first we don't succeed
we'll try again and then indeed
we shall get well, we will be glad
we need not be forever sad.
I wish that we could vow tonight
to share our strengths and hold on tight,
to take each other by the hand,
to help each other understand
there's hope for all.
We share our stories sad and true
sometimes we don't know what to do.
We cry, we moan, we wail and whine
and even lose all track of time.
Our friends stick by us while we heal
they understand our pain is real.
They know we must express that pain
in order to feel whole again.
Depression such a lonely place
where all of us have shown our face.
We hold our heads up as we try
to grab some hope as it goes by.
And if at first we don't succeed
we'll try again and then indeed
we shall get well, we will be glad
we need not be forever sad.
I wish that we could vow tonight
to share our strengths and hold on tight,
to take each other by the hand,
to help each other understand
there's hope for all.
Happiness Among the Depressed…….by Susan
Friday, February 1st, 2008
People often think happiness is not achievable among those who are depressed. I believe it is. Mark Twain once said, "Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination". In my experience with depression I've experienced a lot of happiness in my life. This seems to be the case in spite of my mental health problems.
One of my dearest friends, my sister, is severely depressed. When she and I visit with each other or talk on the phone we often share a lot of laughter. We both feel much happiness as a result of that laughter. We also spend time sharing our difficulties in coping with depression. After sharing these feelings I also feel happy.......happy to have someone who understands.
I recently read an article about happiness that made a lot of sense to me. People who are overly happy all of the time may actually have more difficulty dealing with certain situations in their lives than those of us who have more moderate levels of happiness. You can read the article here: http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/01/25/a-moderate-level-of-happiness-is-best/1839.html
Having depression doesn't rule out your possibility of also having happiness in your life. I try my best to find happiness in the things I'm doing, regardless of what they are. Hopefully, a bit of happiness will help me to be successful at battling depression. I hope all of you who suffer with depression will be able to find some happiness your life.
Please visit:
Ozzie Reviews Avon
My Avon Website
One of my dearest friends, my sister, is severely depressed. When she and I visit with each other or talk on the phone we often share a lot of laughter. We both feel much happiness as a result of that laughter. We also spend time sharing our difficulties in coping with depression. After sharing these feelings I also feel happy.......happy to have someone who understands.
I recently read an article about happiness that made a lot of sense to me. People who are overly happy all of the time may actually have more difficulty dealing with certain situations in their lives than those of us who have more moderate levels of happiness. You can read the article here: http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/01/25/a-moderate-level-of-happiness-is-best/1839.html
Having depression doesn't rule out your possibility of also having happiness in your life. I try my best to find happiness in the things I'm doing, regardless of what they are. Hopefully, a bit of happiness will help me to be successful at battling depression. I hope all of you who suffer with depression will be able to find some happiness your life.
Please visit:
Ozzie Reviews Avon
My Avon Website
Feeling Hurt or Feeling Angry?………..by David
Saturday, December 22nd, 2007
I think a very good thing to learn is the distinction between feeling hurt and feeling angry..........sometimes these two feelings are hard to separate from each other.
I believe depression is part anger. There is a very good likelihood that our anger is in more places than we think. Anger can cause willfulness..........thinking we can solve problems when the solution is out of our hands. When angry, we have a tendency to respond to insult with insult, for example, road rage with road rage. Are we hurt or are we angry?
Supposedly, the very first story was: hey, you can have all you want in this paradise.........oranges, bananas, apples, color tv (ha), etc..........but do not eat them there apples!!! Above all things remember that I am God and you AIN'T!!
Are there people who treat you this way, as if they are God? Do you respond with hurt feelings and eventually anger? It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.
Susan writes:
Avon Reviews
I believe depression is part anger. There is a very good likelihood that our anger is in more places than we think. Anger can cause willfulness..........thinking we can solve problems when the solution is out of our hands. When angry, we have a tendency to respond to insult with insult, for example, road rage with road rage. Are we hurt or are we angry?
Supposedly, the very first story was: hey, you can have all you want in this paradise.........oranges, bananas, apples, color tv (ha), etc..........but do not eat them there apples!!! Above all things remember that I am God and you AIN'T!!
Are there people who treat you this way, as if they are God? Do you respond with hurt feelings and eventually anger? It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.
Susan writes:
Avon Reviews
Bloggers Unite in Acts of Kindness
Monday, December 17th, 2007A White Cat For Christmas
Early in the Fall, a skinny, scrawny, white cat showed up in our yard. She was just about the most pitiful looking cat my husband and I have ever seen. She was obviously starving and our hearts went out to her..........
My husband, Gary, always complained about the three cats we've had during our forty years of marriage. Two of these consecutive cats lived to approximately 13 years of age and the third is now four years old. When we lost one cat we would wait a short time and then the kids and I would soon rescue another animal from the local shelter or save a stray in the neighborhood.
We currently have Ozzie, our black cat. He is declawed and lives in our home.....ruling our home. During the past several months, Ozzie and the white cat hissed at each other through the patio doors but Ozzie seemed to enjoy keeping an eye on the white cat. Gary began to feed her and take her fresh water twice a day. I was very surprised that he initiated the care and feeding of the white cat.
Ozzie soon came running to us and meowing when it was time for the white cat to be fed. He still hissed at her and she hissed back at him, but Ozzie wanted her fed on time!
We began to worry about this white cat when the weather started turning cool. It can get really cold here in Missouri. Now, the white cat had filled out and was looking a lot better. She stayed within our fenced yard most of the time which seemed a bit strange to us at first, but I believe it was her safe haven from other animals. She had been declawed and dumped!
We decided the next step would be to put her in the garage and apply some medication to kill the many fleas she had. Gary built her a little house and padded the floor of it with old towels. He sat it on some cardboard boxes to keep it off the cold concrete floor. She spends a lot of time in her new little house. Ozzie often holds conversations with her through the door which leads to the garage.
I started thinking of names for this white cat and have recently been calling her Mandy after one of my favorite Barry Manilow songs from years ago. It just seems to fit her. My grandson thinks she looks like a sphinx......probably due to the fact that her head has an unusual shape with a very pointed face.
Mandy is soon to become our white Christmas cat, joining Ozzie indoors. We never planned on having more than one cat in the house, but sometimes you just have to reach out and help another living creature in need. Saving an animal was my act of kindness and I'm so very glad my husband and I have added Mandy to our family. I sure hope Ozzie will be glad too..... when his new adopted sister begins to share his domain.
Mandy
Bloggers…………by Susan
Sunday, December 16th, 2007
Hi everyone. Tonight I'm writing about a unique activity many bloggers are doing tomorrow, December 17th. Let me explain the activity and then I'll explain how this feels for me.
I'm a member of blogcatalog.com which is a huge website for bloggers. Tomorrow I and other bloggers will be taking part in a Bloggers Unite activity. We all chose an act of kindness that we wanted to perform prior to December 17th and we're all writing a post tomorrow about whatever act of kindness we chose.
If you would like to know more about the group Bloggers Unite, please read the press release located here:
Press Release
It always helps my state of mind when I take some responsibility in my life and do a kindness for someone. Somehow it seems to lift a bit of sadness and depression when we step outside of ourselves and lend a helping hand.
I hope you'll tune in tomorrow to read my blog article about the kindness I chose to do. I really didn't help another human being but I helped nonetheless.
Please visit my blog
Avon Reviews
I'm a member of blogcatalog.com which is a huge website for bloggers. Tomorrow I and other bloggers will be taking part in a Bloggers Unite activity. We all chose an act of kindness that we wanted to perform prior to December 17th and we're all writing a post tomorrow about whatever act of kindness we chose.
If you would like to know more about the group Bloggers Unite, please read the press release located here:
Press Release
It always helps my state of mind when I take some responsibility in my life and do a kindness for someone. Somehow it seems to lift a bit of sadness and depression when we step outside of ourselves and lend a helping hand.
I hope you'll tune in tomorrow to read my blog article about the kindness I chose to do. I really didn't help another human being but I helped nonetheless.
Please visit my blog
Avon Reviews
One Down, One to Go……………by Susan
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007I survived Thanksgiving so I consider that 'one down and one to go'. I really enjoy the holidays in many ways but they are also very tiring and stressful for me. I suppose it is my depression. It may also have something to do with working hard to cope with all the relationships in my family.
Getting together with family is one of my favorite things to do. I'll never understand why it wears me out so much. How can visiting cause us so much fatigue? I remember when I was a young woman in my 20's, I was exhausted after a weekend of sitting around talking and having fun with family.
I did quite a bit of cooking over the Thanksgiving weekend but had lots of help from my daughter and my grandson. We played games, went to a movie, watched a DVD and had plenty of down time which is just the way I like to spend a holiday. Having fun, enjoying one's family and eating good food sure can wear a person out!
Christmas will be here before we know it. I'm planning on being prepared and getting plenty of rest before it's time to have more family holiday fun.
Getting together with family is one of my favorite things to do. I'll never understand why it wears me out so much. How can visiting cause us so much fatigue? I remember when I was a young woman in my 20's, I was exhausted after a weekend of sitting around talking and having fun with family.
I did quite a bit of cooking over the Thanksgiving weekend but had lots of help from my daughter and my grandson. We played games, went to a movie, watched a DVD and had plenty of down time which is just the way I like to spend a holiday. Having fun, enjoying one's family and eating good food sure can wear a person out!
Christmas will be here before we know it. I'm planning on being prepared and getting plenty of rest before it's time to have more family holiday fun.
Avon Reviews
Routines………..by Susan
Wednesday, September 19th, 2007I believe that routines are good for people, especially children. Having said that, I think breaking your routine can add some spice to your life and help to lift depression as long as you don't over do it or place too much stress on yourself or the members of your family.
My children always knew they could plan on having dinner at a certain time each evening and we all had our own "spot" at the table. A fight would ensue if anyone dared to sit in another's "spot". This was as important to my four children as it was to me and my six siblings when I was growing up.
In the summer it was always fun when we took our kids on a short vacation and broke our routines. We would eat in restaurants and sometimes at odd hours of the day. Now that our children are grown, my husband and I often eat at odd hours of the day and sometimes we skip meals (which isn't a good thing for us to do). We enjoy eating in restaurants frequently.
When you are retired, as my husband and I are, you can easily slip into a boring routine but we have worked hard to keep that from happening to us. Sometimes it's not easy. We go on dates at least once a week. We also try to stay actively interested in our children's lives, visiting them whenever possible. I have a number of hobbies and have also started selling Avon products to keep me active.
I know that boredom can increase depression and play havoc on your relationships so breaking the routines now and then will do wonders to stay healthy and happy. We still have our routine "spots" and no one had better sit in mine!
My children always knew they could plan on having dinner at a certain time each evening and we all had our own "spot" at the table. A fight would ensue if anyone dared to sit in another's "spot". This was as important to my four children as it was to me and my six siblings when I was growing up.
In the summer it was always fun when we took our kids on a short vacation and broke our routines. We would eat in restaurants and sometimes at odd hours of the day. Now that our children are grown, my husband and I often eat at odd hours of the day and sometimes we skip meals (which isn't a good thing for us to do). We enjoy eating in restaurants frequently.
When you are retired, as my husband and I are, you can easily slip into a boring routine but we have worked hard to keep that from happening to us. Sometimes it's not easy. We go on dates at least once a week. We also try to stay actively interested in our children's lives, visiting them whenever possible. I have a number of hobbies and have also started selling Avon products to keep me active.
I know that boredom can increase depression and play havoc on your relationships so breaking the routines now and then will do wonders to stay healthy and happy. We still have our routine "spots" and no one had better sit in mine!